RAW Report 11/5/07 L.A.
The show starts with a still picture of Fabulous Moolah, a tribute. (We will miss you Moolah!)
Music and pyro.
DX’s music and the crowd goes wild. There’s tons of DX signs in the stands. They come out and the fans get even louder. They’re in wrestling gear, HBK with a cowboy hat and HHH in a Dx baseball cap. Both are in DX shirts. They pose in the ring and the in-ring DX pyro goes off. HHH poses in a corner and HBK runs around in the ring like a goof. HBK grabs a mic and hands it off to HHH. The fans are still going bloody wild when the music stops. “DX” chants. HBK grabs a mic for himself.
They play up the to crowd before even speaking. Women scream. HHH says it’s for one night only, but are you ready? He then asks again to get the fans pumped. He goes on to do the rest of his schpeal. He’s at ‘Llllllllllllllllee…” And Hornswoggle’s music hits and he comes out from under the ring all grins. He gets in the ring all excited. HHH tells him he needs to go back under the ring. HHH says he’s not understand him. He asks HBK if he has a run sheet for the show.
HBK goes through the list of DX merchandise, he pulls the run sheet form his boot. HBK says he keeps it in his boots in case he forgets his lines.
HHH says that the first segment is DX. Nothing about Hornswoggle until the short segment. Horney puts an arm hold on HBK. He lets off and HBK says he’s in for the night.
HHH says he has to go back under the ring.
Horney shakes his head no.
HHH asks why.
Horney says monsters.
HBK goes to look and says it’s clear. HBK they is pulled under the ring.
HBK comes back out with worms in his mouth. HBK returns to the ring.
Boogeyman comes out from under the ring and comes in the ring.
Horney hides behind HHH. HHH looks at Boogeyman and says, “Yes, that is a midget between my legs.”
HHH asks what’s up.
“I’m the Boogeyman and I’m… Asking if I can Join DX.”
HBK makes another executive decision and says he’s in for the night.
HHH is at, “Llllllllllllleeee…” and he’s cut off by Khali’s music.
The four DX members are in the ring watching. HBK stops HHH from asking Khali anything because he doesn’t want to be turned into a pretzel. HHH tells Khali to get in the back with the rest.
Coach’s music and he comes out screaming, “enough, enough!” He says he’s shutting this down, right now. The fans are there to see action, not to see them do their little antics.
HHH tells him to take the base out of his voice. If he doesn’t he’ll tell (the translator) what Coach said about Khali. HHH whispers in the translators’s ear. HHH tells him to ask HBK, he can’t lie. HBK gets a funny look on his face and his eyes get shifty. He then agrees that it’s all true.
The translator says something to Khali. Khali slams Coach from the ring with one hand and follows him. The others leave the ring too.
HHH asks what’s been going on.
HBK says he doesn’t know who writes this, but it’s the worst thing since the Katie Vick thing.
HHH says he doesn’t think anyone writes it as they’re all on strike. The fans love that.
HHH and HBK are finally able to finish their schpeal. They pose in the corners for the fans.
Tom Green is in the front row. So is Luke Perry.
Video of the Diva Halloween Battle Royal. Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly won but Beth comes out and flattens her.
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly’s music and she comes out in bright pink pants with a black and pink bra top. She looks nervous. Beth comes out in a black studded corset and black pants. Of course she’s wearing her headband. Beth poses on the corner, hands the belt off to the ref and back rolls off the corner.
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly tries to gain control and get slammed to the mat. Beth hits her delayed fisherman’s suplex on Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly for three.
– Winner: Beth
Beth leaves the ring with a mean smile on her face.
Santino is out back. He says he has some bad news. Austin won’t be there. As he said last week, if he was going to come he’d have shown up already. On the slight chance he did show up Santino brought a paper bag for Austin to try to act his way out of.
Carlito is in the ring with a guy named Joey. Carlito says Joey was supposed to face Carlito, but that’s not cool. So he found a replacement, Snitsky. Snitsky comes out.
Snitsky slams Joey into a corner and he hits the mat. Joey gets up and eats Snitsky’s boot. A cup handle slam and Snitsky covers for three.
– Winner: Snitsky
Carlito enters the ring and raises Snitsky’s hand. He’s about to spit apple in Snitsky’s face but he ends up eating Snitsky’s boot. Carlito then gets a cup handle slam of his own.
Jeff Hardy promo to music.
Jeff and Rey Rey Rey Rey are out back talking (about their match later?)
Kennedy is in the ring he’s in the middle of announcing himself to huge heat. Finlay is out next to tag with him. Rey Rey Rey Rey is out next. He talks to a kid in a Rey Rey Rey Rey mask (his son?) Before entering the ring. Jeff Hardy comes dancing out, last but not least. Jeff is blond this week.
Jeff and Finlay lock up to “Hardy” chants. Finlay goes to Rey Rey Rey Rey but the ref stops him. A side headlock on Jeff. A shoulder block but Jeff doesn’t go down. An arm bar on Jeff. Finlay covers for two. Jeff then covers Finlay for two. They roll on the mat a bit and Finlay covers for one. Finlay slaps Jeff’s chest and Jeff bitch slaps Finlay. Finlay sends Jeff flying from the ring. They start to double team Jeff but Rey Rey Rey Rey comes running. Something happens and Kennedy and Finlay end up glaring at each other.
Kennedy has control over Rey Rey Rey Rey. Rey Rey Rey Rey hits a springboard cross body followed by head scissors. Rey Rey Rey Rey comes off the top rope with a west coast pop, but Kennedy comes back with a low dropkick. Finlay tags in. He’s stomping Rey Rey Rey Rey who’s holding that knee. A half Boston crab on Rey Rey Rey Rey. Finlay hits a cheap shot on Jeff so Rey Rey Rey Rey can’t tag out. Kennedy tags in and he stomps Rey Rey Rey Rey. Kennedy picks Rey Rey Rey Rey up by the foot and slams him to the mat knee first. Finlay tags in. Rey Rey Rey Rey gets slammed into a corner but catches Finlay in the face. Rey Rey Rey Rey then manages to drive Finlay’s face into the mat.
Jeff is able to tag in, as does Kennedy. Jeff splashes Kennedy in a corner and then double feet to Kennedy’s chest. Jeff covers for two. Jeff hits whisper in the wind and covers but Finlay rushes in and tosses Jeff from the ring. Rey Rey Rey Rey comes in and goes for the 619. Finlay ducks out so only Kennedy gets the 619. Finlay, outside, gets hit with the west coast pop. Jeff hits a swanton on Kennedy and covers for three.
– Winners: Jeff Hardy & Rey Rey Rey Rey
Jeff and Rey Rey Rey Rey celebrate in the ring.
Out back Santino is on his cell phone. Maria rushes up to him and says Austin is there. Santino says it’s a rumor. Tonight is his night and he’s going to the ring. The likelihood of Austin showing up is as good as Austin winning and Oscar. Santino takes Maria’s hand and drags her off to the ring.
Video of people waiting in line all night to buy WM tickets.
Santino’s music and he comes out with Maria who’s wearing an amazing sparkly blue dress that is cut at an angle on the bottom -very short in the front, cut to the hip on the right and is mostly lacing in the back – WOW! Santino says Austin’s not going to be there. He cuts on Coby Bryant. The director of The Condemned is in the front row and doesn’t look happy with Santino. Santino asks if he hoped the props were real so he could blow his brains out. Santino says Austin is as phony as the people in L.A. He’s not going to stomp a mud pie, no glass breaking, JR will not reach orgasm.
Austin’s music and out he comes! He has a copy of his DVD in hand. The director is cheering in the front row. Maria leaves the ring very quickly and Santino stays out of his way while he poses on the corners.
“Austin” chants. Austin asks Santino who he is and introduces himself. He notices that Santino’s been misquoting Austin and he doesn’t like it. He asks what it’s a can of. Santino says ass whip. Austin tells him what’s wrong with it. And the mud hole and the other things he’s been saying wrong. Santino is getting all pissed.
Austin asked if Santino has actually watched the movie. Santino says he did, once. Austin asks what he thought of it. Santino says that he’s a redneck. They go on to talk about the fighting. Santino says he had to leave the room it was so violent.
Austin says he came out to clear it up. He understand and appreciates and honest opinion. What he doesn’t like is Santino coming out for six weeks trying to make a name off Austin. Austin just wants to drink a beer with him. Santino says he drink red win, beer hurts his throat. Austin says he’s going to extend and olive branch, he brought a copy of the movie. Santino takes it, reads the back a bit and throws it down. He says he can’t put himself through that again.
Austin hits a beautiful stunner on Santino.
Austin says he’s not a doctor but Santino looks thirst. Santino sits up leaning on the corner. Austin shoves the movie in Santino’s mouth and stomps up the ramp. Maria rushes to Santino’s side.
Austin drives in in a Bud truck!
Austin throws the hose in the ring and jumps in. He hoses Santino down, up close, with lots of beer!
Austin grabs a couple cans and drinks in a corner. More beers are tossed to him and he drinks in a corner while Maria tends to Santino. Austin sees her and grabs the hose again. Maria pleads with him. She shakes her head him and he shakes his. He then hoses her down as she dances around in the spray. Santino gets sprayed again.
Austin gets on the roof of the beer truck, gets more beers tossed to him and drinks on the top of the truck. He then sits on the roof of the cab of the truck and drinks again. He gets down, brings a beer to the director. They tap beers and drink. Austin goes up the ramp, gives a two finger salute and leaves.
Another mysterious video. There was “CAN YOU BREAK THE CODE” and “THE CODE IS THE ANSWER” in the video.
Video of Austin beering down Santino and Maria.
Vince is out back with Horney. Vince wants to talk about parenting. He believe in ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’. Vince says he got out of the situations with Coach due to Vince, because Vince loves him. He thinks Hornswoggle should stand on his own two feet at SS. He knows Horney lives by a ‘size doesn’t matter’ theory, but it might when he sees he opponent for SS. Horney turns around and there’s Khali. Khali is about to slam his hand down on Horney’s head. Horney just bows his head.
JR and King talk about the theme song and the matches for SS.
HHH is out back. He’s said he’s been asked to waist time because Austin just sprayed beer all over the arena and they have to clean it up.
HBK shows up and says he took care of it.
HHH announces the DX dancers.
It’s Big Dick Johnson.
HHH says he wanted dancers.
HBK says he doesn’t know what cool is!
HHH pushes Big Dick away and says he keeps these around for just such reasons. He has The Girls Next Door, Kendra and Bridget. They come out and dance.
Cody and Holly come down to the ring to Cody’s music. Cody is wrestling. Out back Murdoch and Cade are heading for the ring. Mickie wishes Murdoch luck and Cade tells her to leave. Murdoch is wrestling.
They lock up and Cody gets a knee to the gut. Cody comes back with forearms. Cody gets elevated over the top and lands on his feet on the apron. Coming through the ropes he gets kicked in the chest. Murdoch gains control with a chinlock. Cody tries to elbow out but gets a forearm to the back. A suplex but Cody lands on his feet. Cody hits a bulldog and then a scoop slam. Cody drops a knee onto Murdoch’s head. Cody covers for two. Cody gets whipped but gets his foot up.
Outside Cade yells at Holly. The ref is distracted and Cade climbs to knock Cody from the corner that he’s climbed to. Cody kicks Cade down. Cody comes off the corner onto Murdoch and covers Murdoch for three.
– Winner: Cody
JR starts talking about Moolah and how great she was, how much she’ll be missed. They show a video of her life. She held the title for 28 years. She was quite an amazing woman. She was the first female wrestler in the WWE Hall Of Fame – 1995. “Moolah” chants from the crowd!
Dusty Hill from ZZ Top and Jamie Kennedy are both in the front row, but not together.
Hacksaw is in the ring with Super Crazy. They are facing TWGTT. Hacksaw and Crazy are trying to get a Ci and Ho dueling chant started, the fans don’t care. They obviously don’t want to see this match.
Haas rushes in and attacks Crazy from behind. A scoop slam to Crazy. Shelton tags in and slams Crazy twice. Haas tags in. Hacksaw’s trying to get the fans going, but they are dead silent. They are so not into this match.
TWGTT tag back and forth and keep control of Crazy. Hacksaw is still trying to get the fans going, but there’s nothing. Crazy quickly rolls up Benjamin for three.
– Winners: Super Crazy & Hacksaw
WWE Rewind – Umaga and Orton against HHH last week. He was getting his ass kicked until HBK comes to the rescue.
Umaga’s music and out he comes. Orton comes out to join him. DX comes out to huge pop, again. HBK is still wearing his cowboy hat.
As soon as they enter the ring the fight starts. Orton is tossed from the ring. They double team Umaga and pull the rope down so he goes flying. HBK flies outside to land on Umaga. HHH bounces Orton’s head off the announce table.
Back in the ring HHH and Orton are the legal men. HBK tags in and works on Orton’s arm. Orton gains control and tags in Umaga. HBK moves out of a landing Umaga and tags in HHH. A DDT to Umaga. HHH then throws punches. HHH gets whipped but gets a foot up. A huge and hard swinging sidewalk slam to HHH. The ref runs to HHH’s side to make sure he’s fine. I hear, “Oh no!” from JR after the screen has gone dark for commercial
Umaga throws punches at HHH who’s sitting on the mat in a corner. Umaga goes for a bum slam but HHH ducks out of the way. Orton tags in and rushes HHH in the corner. HHH gets his foot up into Orton’s face. Both men are down for seven. HBK tags in. HBK hits a flying forearm and nips up. And inverted atomic drop on Orton and HBK climbs. He hits his flying elbow but Umaga rushes in and hits a horrible clothesline.
Orton manages to tag out. Umaga hits a head butt on HBK. Umaga stomps HBK and hits a few punches. Umaga chokes HBK on the mat until the ref makes him break it. Umaga throws punches at HBK in a corner. Orton tags himself in and hits a standing drop kick for two. Orton stomps HBK’s arms and then legs. “HBK” chants. HBK gets to his feet and they exchange punches. Umaga tags in and splashes HBK on the mat. Umaga does his shoulder nerve hold. “HBK” chants. HBK works his way to his feet but gets nailed with a head butt and HBK is down again. Umaga gets on the second rope and goes for a head butt, but HBK moved. Both men are down. Umaga is able to get HBK’s leg to stop the tag. HBK hits the enziguri.
Orton tags in, but so does HHH. A big knee to Orton and a face buster to Umaga. Umaga gets slammed into two ring posts and Orton gets a spine buster. HHH is about hit the pedigree on Orton but Umaga hits a Samoan spike on HHH. Both HHH and Orton are down for six. Orton crawls over and covers HHH but only gets a two count.
Umaga tags in and drags HHH into a corner. Umaga hits a bum slam on HHH. A cheap shot to HBK who falls to the floor. Umaga tries to slam down on HHH from the first rope, but HHH gets his knees up into Umaga’s groin. Orton tags in and is setting up for the RKO but HHH pushes Orton away. Orton slams into Umaga who falls to the floor.
HBK is able to tag in. HBK hits sweet chin music on Orton and covers for three!
– Winners: DX
Orton tries to roll away and HBK stops him and yells in his face. HBK and HHH pose in the ring. HBK is sitting, leaning against HHH’s chest. HBK has his arms crossed on his chest. HHH is in a crouch, his arms also crossed in the DX way.
Hacksaw & Crazy face TWGTT