RAW Report 8/10/09 Calgary, Alberta, Canada
RAW this week starts with Lilian announcing Orton who’s in the ring when the lights come up. Orton has a mic in his hand and holds him belt high above his head. Huge heat for Orton. He says he’s out there because he’s been hearing rumors. People have been talking behind his back, saying he’s worried about facing Cena. The same people who say he bullied Piven into doing his dirty work. He bullied Piven last week for the same reason he can bully everyone – because he can. He doesn’t answer to the fans. We’re all beneath him and our opinions don’t matter. What does matter to him is facing Cena at SS. Huge “You suck!” chants. He says he’ll beat Cena at SS. It’s not a rumor, it’s fact. He guarantees at SS… Cena’s music cuts Orton off and out he comes to the ring looking rather annoyed. Cena paces in front of Orton in the ring, the whole time they glare. Cena says every week Orton talks about rumor and facts, truth and lies. He makes these areas gray and that makes Cena angry. But Orton of all people knows about anger. When something bothers you and bothers you until you’re about to snap! Well, take a good look as Cena’s about there. He’s tired of him talking about what he’s going to do, who he is and bullying people because he says he can. “Cena” chants and he’s quiet to let them chant. Cena calls Orton a bully and tells him to bully Cena. They have a match in two weeks and it will happen. But right now Orton’s staring at 250lbs or problem ready to rip him in half. Is he going to talk about it or do something about it. They get forehead to forehead glaring until Orton backs off a bit. Then the hybrid music of Big Show and Jericho plays. The two of them come out looking very dapper in suits. Big Show says this is amusing, them trying to intimidate each other and neither know the meaning of intimidation. Huge “Y2J” chants like I have never heard. Jericho looks annoyed. Big Show says he breaths at someone and they’re intimidated. Cena brushes the comment off verbally saying Big Show’s breath smells like Shaq’s jock strap. He asks why they’re out there. Jericho on mic and the fans are wild for him. He says they’re there because they’re in his country – Canada. More “Y2J” chants. Canada he grew up in and trained. Cena said it’s the country Jericho chose to leave. Jericho says they have bigger issues to deal with. Jericho says he had a meeting with Sgt. Slaughter and he owe Jericho. Sgt. Slaughter agreed with Jericho and gave him a match with Cena. Jericho says in Calgary, for the first time, he’ll beat Cena. Orton says after Jericho beats Cena he’ll be out to make that statement by punching Cena in the skull. Big Show says the reason Jericho got his match because Big Show was there. Tonight he wants more, so he’s facing Orton! Big Show’s music plays as he smirks at Orton. Even Cena has a slight smirk. Orton looks nervous.
Out back is Sgt. Slaughter in full garb and ready to go!
Kelly out in purple. Fox out in blue and black. Gail Kim out in sparkly red. Beth comes out in black and purple.
It’s a four way match. Beth goes after Kelly who sends her flying with head scissors and a pin for two. Gail trips Beth who had Kelly up in a double chicken win and gets two on Beth. Fox pins Gail for two. Kelly with two on Fox and then Gail with Beth down for two. Fox hit a great back breaker on Gail. Gail tossed out and Kelly was alone with the heels. She tried to fight but they double teamed her. Fox accidentally kicked Beth then Gail came off the top with a dropkick to Fox. Kelly broke the pin. Gail beat on Kelly in a corner until Beth attacked Gail. Gail over Beth’s shoulder and then Kelly on top of Gail. Fox hit a chop block and took Beth down. Fox and Beth argue and Beth low ropes Fox to get her out. Gail attacks Beth in a corner then flies outside to take out Fox. In the ring Kelly almost hits back handspring elbow. Kelly sent flying outside to land on Gail and Fox. Beth starts to climb but Fox trips her and she lands hard up top. Fox hits a dropkick to Kelly on the apron sending her to the floor. Gail hit her finisher for three.
– Winner: Gail Kim
Video of the high points of the match. Gail celebrates in the ring as she’s number on contender now.
Sgt. Slaughter’s music and out he comes in full ring gear. Some salutes and lots of pop. Then he gets some heat! He says it’s his honor and privilege and a cheap pop for the Canadian fans. He says he respects our neighbors to the north. His first thing as host is to lead them all in a salute to the Canadian flag. It was up on the tron, briefly, then it was crossed out. He said if it wasn’t for Uncle Sam they’d all be speaking Russian and French right now. Most of them speak French already and it’s embarrassing. “Asshole” chants. He says he takes the US protection for granted. Someone ripped a Sgt. Slaughter sign in half and held it high. He says he has a better idea. He demands everyone one of them stand, stand up out of those chairs, place their right hand over their hearts, and pay respect to the greatest country in the world. “American scum” sign. He then recites the Pledge Of Allegiance. The fans are HOT! He then dismisses the crowd.
King and Cole talk about HHH facing Legacy last week and how he lost. Video of post match and how he was hurt and wanted to make a phone call… Suck it! Cole says HHH traveled to Texas to find HBK. King says HBK found a new profession.
Swagger out to the ring. Video of Bourne and Swagger in the ring two weeks ago. Bourne won. Video of last Monday when Swagger beat Bourne. Bourne out to the ring.
Swagger right onto Bourne to start the match. Drop toe hold by Bourne and Swagger rolls from the ring. Bourne flies and hits double knees to Swagger’s chest over the top. In the ring Swagger hit a knee to Bourne’s spine. Submission hold on Bourne with his arms pulled back and a knee to his back. Bourne flips out and uses his feet on Swagger. Bourne pins for two. Bourne climbs but Swagger is up. Swagger tries for head scissors but Swagger too strong. Swagger tries to pin and Bourne gets a small package. A knee to Swagger’s face and Swagger into a corner. Swagger fights back and Bourne ends up up-side down in a corner. Gut wrench powerbomb to Bourne for three.
– Winner: Swagger
Swagger leaves the ring, gets the mic from Lilian and gets back in. He’s bleeding a little from the mouth. He goes off about being the All American American. MVP’s music and he comes out. He says Swagger’s always reminding people about being an All American. The only people who care less than MVP, are the Canadians. They’re not booing Swagger because he’s American. They’re booing him because he’s a loud mouthed, self absorbed idiot with a pronounced lisp. They have nothing in common. MVP wasn’t blessed with a trust fund, but with the ability to beat him in the ring. MVP asked for a match, unless Swagger’s an All American wimp. Swagger says maybe, next week. MVP knocks Swagger on his bum. Swagger looks pissed, but just rolls from the ring. “MVP” chants and heat for Swagger.
Video from earlier. In a break room of sorts and in walks HHH. He’s on his cell leaving HBK a message. He says he’s at the office building HBK told him to meet him at. A guy in a bad wig and called him sexy boy – thinking it was HBK. The guy then hit on HHH. Someone hitting a bell and screaming that she wanted her hamburger – bell and screaming over and over until HBK in a chef’s uniform stops her. He looks disheveled, to say the least. He calls the little girl over. He says unless she wants raw meat, it has to be cooked on both sides. He tells her to sit down and show some tater tots in that pie hole of her’s and he’ll call her when her burger is ready. He tells her to RUN along. Bring your daughter to work day is brilliant idea. He says hi to HHH and goes back to work. HHH’s jaw hung open in shock.
Sgt. Slaughter comes back out to huge heat. He says he was just playing before, but they’ll like this. He went out and got someone special to sing their national anthem. He announce Celine Dion. She didn’t come out. He says he couldn’t find her, so he found someone better. Out came Jillian in a horrible red white and blue outfit singing God Bless America. Sgt. Slaughter had a tear in his eye and then they hug.
A Contract On A Pole Match and Eugene is in the ring! The winner is the newest member of RAW. Calgary Kid comes out to the ring.
Eugene wants to shake and Kid screws with him by sending Eugene off so he can climb. Eugene catches on and takes him down. Rock bottom and then people’s elbow and Eugene climbs. Kid climbs too and they fight up there. Headbutt and Eugene flies off the corner. Kid gets the contract and the win.
– Winner: Calgary Kid
He helps Eugene up and then splats him on the mat. He takes off his mask and it’s the Miz! He grabs a mic and announces himself the winner and that he’s awesome.
Out back Orton heading for the ring.
WWE Rewind – Last Monday Big Show face Kofi for the title. Big Show refused to stop attacking Kofi in a corner and was DQ’d from the match. Kofi won. After the match Big Show kept beating on Kofi with Jericho in the ring cheering him on.
Orton out. About a minute and a half later Orton actually made it to the ring and got in. Big Show out to the ring with both belts. A sign in the front row reads, “Who do I have to kill to cancel RAW?”
Big Show and Orton staring and Orton looks away. Orton puts a hand on Big Show’s chest and back off. Orton tries to attack but it doesn’t happen. Headbutt then huge punches from Big Show. Orton gasps for breath. Headlock on Orton and he’s backed into a corner. The ref counts but Big Show breaks. Another headbutt to Orton and then he stands on Orton’s throat with one foot and olds the ropes to hold his weight. Face buster and Orton falls to the mat in a heap. Big Show walks across Orton’s chest a couple times. Big Show pulls Orton up into another front facelock and wrenches it on tightly. Big Show tosses him aside like he’s nothing. Orton into a corner and picked up by his head to sit up top. A big slap to the chest and Orton falls out to the floor. Big Show follows Orton out and rolls him back in. Orton pokes Big Show in the eye on the apron. Orton hits his icky DDT through the ropes. Orton pins but Big Show kicks out so hard he sends Orton to his feet! Orton stomps his way around Big Show. A big knee drop to Big Show’s face. Orton sets Big Show up for the RKO. Big Show pushes Orton’s RKO off like it’s nothing. Big Show hits a big chokeslam for two as Orton gets a foot on the ropes at the last second. Big Show goes crazy at not winning and attacks Orton as he holds the bottom rope. Big Show with his fist ready but Orton ducks and runs from the ring. Huge heat from the fans as Orton is on the ramp. The fans help the ref count Orton out.
– Winner: Big Show via Count Out
Orton up the ramp quickly but selling the pain. Big Show poses in the ring.
Video of HHH and HBK. HHH says HBK is a cook. HBK says he’s a chef. Chef hat, chef shirt, they don’t just give it to anybody. He says after WM he didn’t feel like he belonged there anymore. HHH says he became a chef for corporate nimrods. HBK says these corporate nimrods are like brothers. HBK says they like him and respect him. The little girl is back. She says the tater tots suck. Her dad’s a VP, so shape up monkey. She then threw the tater tots in HBK’s face! HHH made an interesting face. HBK says it’s a virtual paradise and why would he want to leave all this. HHH says Legacy is out of control and he needs him. HBK says everyone needs him. HHH says DX needs him. HBK says he’s happy and more importantly he’s really good at what he does. As he says this a huge fire breaks out in the kitchen behind them. HHH asks him really? And then calls him Chef Boyardee! He asks if that’s why HBK’s grills’ on fire? HBK says yes, that’s why his grill’s on fire. Then he freaks out about his grill being on fire and put it out with an extinguisher. He comes back around covered in soot.
MVP’s music and he comes out in his red ring gear. Masters comes out to face him.
MVP blacked a punch and threw a bunch of his own. Into a corner but MVP throws a back elbow. MVP’s legs out from under him on the second ropes and Masters’ kicks the heck out of him. Dropkick to MVP for two. Knee to the back of MVP. Chin/armlock on MVP in the center of the ring. Forearm to MVP’s back when he gets out. Belly to belly to Masters! Facebuster to Masters. Ballin’ to Masters but then Masters tries to lock on the masterlock. Reversal into the playmaker for three.
– Winner: MVP
Swagger comes out to the ring and MVP is ready for him. Swagger glares as he walks down to the ring. As Swagger gets on the apron Masters locks on his matserlock. Swagger smirks and talks smack to MVP. Masters drops MVP on Swagger’s command and MVP eats a gut wrench powerbomb. Swagger, standing over MVP, talks smack.
Video of Piven doing the media rounds and talking about WWE RAW.
HBK and HHH behind the line. HHH tells him he knows all that is hard to leave, but he’s the ShowStopper! HBK tells him to keep flipping burgers and then to put on a hat and apron. HHH flipped a burger onto the floor, picked it up and put it back on the grill. HHH told HBK he had to be with him at SummerSlam. HBK says he thought it was SummerFest! HHH says SummerSlam, SummerFest, doesn’t matter! His boss yells in yelling Hickenbottom. HHH asks what kind of a name is that? HBK says, quietly, he needs something to protect his anonymity. The boss asks what he’s doing? He went off on HBK for yelling at a little girl and starting a grease fire. He has a good mind not to pay him and who’s this idiot? He says guys like HBK are a dime a dozen. HBK superkicks the guy out of nowhere. HBK slaps HHH on the arm and says he’s in. They said they have two words for us and then a little old lady walking by said – suck it! Then the little girl could be heard screaming out of the camera shot. Yelling about onions and the salad being mushy and what her father does for a living. HBK goes right over, leans down, gets in her face. She screams at him asking what he wants. Out of the camera shot it looks as though HBK superkicks the little girl. He goes back around to HHH, the fire is erupting again. They throw their hats into the fire. HBK yells that he quits and they leave together.
Sgt. Slaughter comes out again. He wants to thank them all for being such great sports tonight. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, we’re all part of the WWE Universe. He has a special guest we haven’t seen in a long time. He start to announce Bret Hart and his music plays… Of course they go wild, but… Then the music changes to Hacksaw. Hacksaw comes out with an American flag and to a bunch of heat. Hacksaw to the ring while Sgt. Slaughter chants “USA”. Hacksaw parades around the ring with the flag.
WWE Slam Of The Week – Chavo in the ring but then Piven calls him Charro from the tron. Hornswoggle won’t be there, but Markswoggle was there to beat Chavo. Hornswoggle came out after and hit a tadpole splash on Chavo for Henry.
Hornswoggle out to the stage and calls out Henry to join him. Henry out, again in red this week, and with the little green hat on his head. Henry picks Horny up on a corner to pose for the fans. Chavo comes out looking nervous, mic in hand. Chavo says he was looking forward to coming out, finding a partner and getting revenge. But it won’t happen due to his injuries due to Markswoggle. But he found a team to stand in for him and they’re more than happy to do it. Legacy comes out to face Henry and Horny.
Henry and Ted lock up, Ted tossed away. Ted tagged himself out and Cody wasn’t thrilled about going in. Henry gave Cody a free shot and he took it. Henry got Cody up high and then dropped him. Henry rushed Cody in a corner but Cody moved and Henry ate the corner. Cody tags out. Ted works him over and tags out. They try to double team Henry with a suplex, but Henry reverses it and suplexes them. Dropkick from Ted but Henry doesn’t go down. Worlds strongest slam and Horny tags in. Tadpole splash but Ted moves. Cody takes out Henry outside. Ted hits his finisher on Horny for three.
– Winners: Legacy
Henry rushes to Hornswoggle’s side. Legacy celebrates on the ramp. Video of the end of the match. Ted grabs a mic on stage and says it looks like DX is back together. Is that supposed to scare them? He has an answer to HHH’s question. They are ready and will face them at SS. It will be the shortest return in history. Cody says they have two words for them. If they’re not down with that – too bad!
Josh out back with Jericho. He wants Jericho’s thought on Cena. Jericho says he’ll beat Cena for the first time ever. He will do in the city he lived for 7 years, where he trained in the Dungeon. Big Show shows up and is upset about Orton running. Jericho says he has the fans in his hand, they’re stupid. He wasn’t born in Canada! It’s called Cow Town for a reason, nothing going on in the city, ugly women… Josh tells Jericho the camera is still running. Jericho turns green and leaves. Big Show looks annoyed.
King announces that the guest host next week will be Freddie Prinze Jr.
King and Cole go through the matches slated for SS.
Cena out to the ring. Women and kids love him, the men stand there looking annoyed. They’re mixed for Cena. Jericho’s music and he comes out to the ring still getting some pop!
They lock up. Shoulder block drops Cena and gets Jericho heat. School boy roll up by Jericho for two. Jericho setting up for the walls and Cena rolls out of the ring. King talks about bizarro crowds. Side headlock on Jericho. Shoulder block to Jericho. Side headlock takedown to Jericho. “Y2J” chants, but sparse. They run the ropes. Jericho dives in front of Cena and Cena dives over him landing hard. Cena knocked out of the ring and Jericho follows. Cena’s head off the steps. Back in the ring a kick to Cena’s head. “Cena” chants. Jericho is whipped but moves out of the way. Elbow drop by Jericho for two. Jericho rips at Cena’s face then a modified sleeper. Super Cena muscles out and fights back. Shoulder block to Jericho, then another. Jericho slammed to the mat. Cena sets up for the five knuckle, but Jericho rolls him up. Cena sets up for an AA, but elbows for Jericho and Jericho pins for two. Cena moves out of the way of Jericho’s lionsault, but Jericho lands on his feet. They roll around a bit and Cena gets Jericho up, then Jericho’s down and pinning Cena for two. Walls of Jericho. Cena tries for the ropes, but Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Cena reverses out and lock on the STF. Orton shows up and the ref calls for the bell before Orton touches anyone. Cena right up into Orton’s face and he doesn’t do anything. Code breaker on Cena. Jericho slaps Orton’s chest and was tossed from the ring for it. Then Big Show is there and hits a chokeslam on Orton. Sgt. Slaughter comes out to huge heat. He calls them all maggots and say they gave him a great idea. Next week is a tag match. Jericho and Big Show face Cena and Orton in a tag match. Orton and Cena run together to double clothesline Big Show from the ring. Jericho rushes the ring with a belt but Cena stops him and gets him up for the AA. Orton rushes over and hits an RKO on Jericho. Cena throws Jericho in the air for Orton’s move.
Bret Hart’s music